I’m a big fan of T. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, best known for his theories on wealth and motivation, having helped over 2 million people achieve financial freedom and stellar success through his world-renowned, inspirational teachings.
Last week’s blog from his son, Jesse, talked about the Habits of Happiness and explained how true, life-lasting happiness is always an inside job – which as you know, is a big belief of mine anyway.
Jesse listed the 3 key habits of incredibly happy people being:
1. Happy People Create Their Own Happiness
2. Happy People Value Self-Care
3. Happy People Practice Gratitude
It’s a lovely read, which takes 4 minutes if you want to Discover The 3 Habits Of Incredibly Happy People
Still, it got me thinking about this whole HAPPINESS thing….
Right now, with what is happening on our doorstep, let alone across the globe with the COVID pandemic, finding something to be happy about or grateful for is a rather tall order, wouldn’t you agree?
I mean, every one of us, without exception, has been and continues to be impacted by the Coronavirus, in one way or another.
For a few of us, the positives have actually outweighed the negatives – saving money on ridiculously high rail fares to London every day just to get to work and back, now that our office is a stones-throw from the bedroom, for example!
Some of us have rekindled fractious relationships by spending more ‘quality’ time together, a precious commodity we’d lost along the way, trying to balance a busy home life with the pressures of holding down a full time job, maybe?
Yet, for the majority of us, those 3 habits of happiness are pretty tricky to practice each day, when we’re struggling internally with our own emotional health and wellbeing at this challenging time.
YES! of course happiness is an inside job and can’t be found in external material things and YES! of course happy people value themselves by putting on their own oxygen masks first, so they’re able to properly help others and YES! we absolutely must adopt an attitude of gratitude if we’re ever going to look at life through a half-full, rather than half-empty glass and develop a thankful thinking process in the mix.
But we’re not robots or Dr Spock’s, devoid of emotion or feeling – indeed, 84% of our life experiences are based on how we FEEL about those life events, so as ‘normal’ human beings, it’s perfectly natural that for many of us, developing those habits in order to increase our level of happiness is a struggle right now, agreed?
Everything is relative. We each have our own perspective on things. Perception is just everyone else’s reality, right?
What I may consider to be a mountain to climb, you may consider to be a molehill. I may feel like I’m pushing water uphill with a fork with all that’s going on in my life at this time, while you may be dealing with exactly the same challenges, dealing with them like a mountaineer conquering Everest.
Doesn’t make me wrong and you right. Doesn’t make you a better person than me. Doesn’t actually mean anything except…. to accept that the ONE thing we human beings have in common is that we are all DIFFERENT!
And how we’re dealing with this craaaaaazy situation, which we’re all experiencing in one way or another – both in our business and personal lives – is being experienced in a totally different way by every one of us. And that’s perfectly fine too!
There’s no greater wisdom to prove this FACT is true than hearing it out of the mouth of babes – or bears and pigs in this particular case.
Pooh & Piglet definitely have a thing or two to teach us about the importance of PERSPECTIVE – and not judging ourselves against others, even if we’re all in the same water-filled boat, trying to weather the same storm and navigate the same choppy seas right now….
Cribbed from a post by a friend on Facebook, I think this lesson kinda lets us ALL off the hook this week if we’re struggling to count our blessings &/or flex our happiness muscles at this time….
Pooh woke up that morning and, for reasons that he didn’t entirely understand, couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
He sat there in bed, his little body shaking, and he cried, and cried, and cried.
Amidst his sobs, the phone rang.
It was Piglet.
“Oh Piglet,” said Pooh, between sobs, in response to his friend’s gentle enquiry as to how he was doing. “I just feel so Sad. So, so, Sad, almost like I might not ever be happy again.
And I know that I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I know there are so many people who have it worse off than me, and so I really have no right to be crying, with my lovely house, and my lovely garden, and the lovely woods all around me. But oh, Piglet… I am just SO Sad.”
Piglet was silent for a while, as Pooh’s ragged sobbing filled the space between them.
Then, as the sobs turned to gasps, he said, kindly: “You know, it isn’t a competition.”
“What isn’t a competition?” asked a confused sounding Pooh.
“Sadness. Fear. Grief” said Piglet.
“It’s a mistake we often make, all of us. To think that, because there are people who are worse off than us, that somehow invalidates how we are feeling.
But that simply isn’t true. You have as much right to feel unhappy as the next person; and, Pooh – and this is the really important bit – you also have just as much right to get the help that you need.”
“Help? What help?” asked Pooh. “I don’t need help, Piglet” He paused….“Do I?”
Pooh and Piglet talked for a long time and Piglet suggested to Pooh some people that he might be able to call to talk to, because when you are feeling Sad, one of the most important things is not to let all of the Sad become trapped inside you.
But instead, to make sure that you have someone who can help you, who can talk through with you how the Sad is making you feeling, and some of the things that might be able to be done to support you with that.
What’s more, Piglet reminded Pooh that this support is there for absolutely everyone, that there isn’t a minimum level of Sad that you have to be feeling before you qualify to speak to someone.
Finally, Piglet asked Pooh to open his window and look up at the sky and Pooh did so.
“You see that sky?” Piglet asked his friend. “Do you see the blues and the golds and that big fluffy cloud that looks like a sheep eating a carrot?”
Pooh looked, and he could indeed see the blues and the golds and the big fluffy cloud that looked like a sheep eating a carrot.
“You and I” continued Piglet, “we are both under that same sky. And so, whenever the Sad comes, I want you to look up at that sky and know that, however far apart we might be physically…we are also, at the same time, together. Perhaps, more together than we have ever been before.”
“Do you think this will ever end?” asked Pooh in a small voice.
“This too shall pass,” confirmed Piglet. “And I promise you, one day, you and I shall once again sit together, close enough to touch, sharing a little smackerel of something…under that blue gold sky.”
We all need a piglet in our lives.
Until next time – stay safe, stay well and keep FIT!